Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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