i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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