So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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