i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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