Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
send nudes
from the living room?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize