eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize