i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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