What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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