He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize