I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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