I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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