walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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