I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize