if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is that strawberry winking at me??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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