playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Less talking, more tequila
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize