so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
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I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
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That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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