there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Another day, another engagement, another cat
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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