just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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