Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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