K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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