my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize