Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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