im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize