i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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