Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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