Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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