Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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