I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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