Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize