Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You've changed since you got that strap on
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