I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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