my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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