just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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