A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize