I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize