Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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