If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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