Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
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She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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