this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize