I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
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Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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