I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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