Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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