you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
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Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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