today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize