sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize