DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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