No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
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I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
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i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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