No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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