Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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