and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
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I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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